Houston, We Have a Problem

     I think the only major problem that I've come to face throughout my journey through the process of making this film is... well, the filming part. I decided from the very beginning that I wanted to play the main role of my film. I have a vision for him, and I believed that it would make my life a lot easier than having to try and convey my ideas to an actor. Being a theatre kid, I think I have a good idea of how to act and pull off my role as an unhappy individual. However, I failed to realize that someone needs to film the actual video! I don't know how this didn't cross my mind sooner.
     Of course there will be stationary shots that will not require any movement, but a lot of dynamic shots are going to require the help of somebody else. I also have the idea of using some first person point of view shots in my film, but that can't make up the entirety of my film. As of now, the only person I have to film me is my mother... Maybe this is a good thing! She'll always be available, and I wouldn't have to deal with the possible conflicting schedules of peers who'd want to help me out. Once I discuss with her my ideas for each shot, I think everything should run smoothly (I hope).
     In the credits of my film, I'm going to get to accredit my mom. Wow, this is actually really funny!

My Film's Setting

     I've decided that I want to have the entirety of my opening scene to be in a bedroom. The bedroom will serve as my character's safe haven to deal with his problems.  Though the setting seems to be boring, I think it will be perfect way to showcase my knowledge of film elements. With the use of shots, angles, movement, etc., making the scene interesting in one room will look very impressive! I also think that a bedroom is the one place where all kids go to let out their emotions. Whether they are angry and throwing a tantrum or sad and want to cry in their pillows, this is a private area where I feel my character would go.
     I also like the idea of a bedroom because of its small size. Being enclosed by four walls, I want the bedroom to be a symbol of my character's inability to escape his emotions. He has to confront them and face them head on, therefore, inciting the grief stages. I'm thinking of having a sequence of consecutive shots with my character in different positions around the room, trying to occupy his time and his thoughts with things around the room. I think this will further help to elucidate his inability to get around his feelings.

Film Music!

     I finally found music to pair with my video's dialogue! It took a while because I had to search for royalty free music instrumentals. I thought about trying to use copyrighted songs, but I didn't want to get attached to a song that I possibly couldn't have been able to use. Writing to record labels to get permission to use their songs was one thing I did not feel like dealing with. Even if I did get permission, who is to say that they would have allowed me to use two minutes? That was a cause of stress that I definitely wanted to avoid.

     Instead, I used a website called bensound.com. The website had a treasure trove of music that I could use. While searching, I came across two songs entitled Better Days and Love. Both instrumentals sparked different visions of the video in my head. But in the end, I felt that Love sounded a little bit happy, which is not what I wanted my video to be. I ended up choosing Better Days because, as the title expresses, it had a melancholic sound but it also sounds optimistic and hopeful. It matches the feelings that I want my character to have in the video, given that he is going through the grief stage of denial. Now that I have the music, I feel that the ball is finally starting to roll!

Film Elements

     In order to create a tone in which the grief of the character is exemplified, I cannot only focus on sound. Yeah, the music is what I want to focus on but that isn't going to suffice on its own! Low key lighting, high angles, extreme close ups (used sparingly), and black and white filters are a few things I have thought about using.
     I also have to think about the location of where I want to shoot my opening scene. I want my scene location to assist in creating a sad mood. I know a bedroom is kind of a cliché place to open up a scene, but I feel that it would work for the character that I am trying to create. Also, if I use a variety of different shots, the bedroom location won't get boring and monotonous.
     In terms of mise en scène, so far I've thought about a phone as a prop. I picture the main character scrolling through pictures of the person they like. For the costume, I also want to use colors that represent sadness (if I end up not using the black and white filter) such as: blue, black, and gray.
     Basically, I want all of the elements of my film to pair with the music I will use. If I do that, I think I will be able to easil relay my message to the audience
     

Opening Scene Monologues

   I have not decided whether I want to start off my main character to be angry or in denial. However, I have written some material in which I could use for my opening. I have written them both in a way so that they both sound like dialogue. I don't want the words to sound rehearsed or well thought out. I want them to sound raw and powerful.

     

Here is what I would use if the main character first experienced denial:

What's the Worst that Could Happen?

     Are you afraid of what might happen if you give yourself to me? If I give myself to you? Don't hesitate to let go and give in to your feelings. Abandon the worries you once knew.

     A connection shall not restrain you nor weigh you down. It allows for emotions to roam. Free from worry or care. Far from love, yet attraction fills the air.

     The past is behind us, the present is here and now. Doubt's whisper echoes in the back of your mind, casting a cloudy haze. Trust desire to lead you on through the maze. Let it leave you in a lovely daze.

     When kisses exchange, do butterflies flutter? Is there a tingle of curiosity? Speak through the heart and silence the mind. And you just might discover what you've been missing this entire time.

     What's the worst that could happen? If you give yourself to me? If I give myself to you? The answer is not certain, but let the truth escape your lips. Don't think, just do.

Here is what I would use if the main character first experienced anger:

Repercussions

     How can it be that when I see you, I want to kiss you and punch you at the same time? I feel so much indignation toward you, yet there is still a part of me, deep down, that is saddened. Saddened that, for you, nothing between us was real. Not even for second. I hate that I hate you. I should resent you. I could resent you. I would resent you. But I can't resent you.

     Why am I the one who has to suffer this mental toil? Why am I the only one burdened by the weight of this heartache? I was just another number checked off of your list. I'd thought the butterflies that fluttered in my bosom signified my joy. But, in fact, they were trying to warn me. Warn me of the pain to come.

     This feeling is foreign to me. It is an ailment, to whose remedy I cannot begin to fathom. It has no name. I experience every emotion, but I'm left numb. And you inflicted this upon me. Have you no shame? No regret? No sympathy? You have nothing to give, and that's what hurts the most.

     I have yet find a beat that I will be able to use to read these. I also am not sure if I should sing (Yes, I can sing) or just read them. Hmm... 

Blooming Plot Ideas

     Though the intricacies of my story are still not set in stone, I have a broad idea of what I want the story to be about. The main character will have to struggle with the fact that the person that they have strong feelings for does not feel the same. They have to find a way to deal with their bottled up emotions.

     I was thinking about moving the plot along utilizing the idea of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What intrigues me about this idea is that every person goes through the stages differently. Some stages can be skipped while they can also come in any order. I think this idea is so creative. Many movies about love are so similar and this stands out from the others.

     Maybe my opening can be the introduction of the main character's first experience of grief? For right now, I think I am sticking with this idea. I think it will be a perfect way to start off my movie!

My Vision is Slowly Coming Together

     I want my film opening to elaborate upon the power that love can have over the mind. It is such a powerful and captivating emotion. Experiencing love is almost indescribable. The sheer amount of happiness and joy that it can create is one to behold. However, when lost, it can also create an unimaginable misery. I have not yet felt a love like the one I am describing but I would like to use my film opening as a means to describe how I envision it in my head.

    Not too long ago, I had seen La La Land and it perfectly described the bittersweet nature of love. It utilizes music in the same way that I want to use it in my movie opening. I want the music to enhance the feeling of ecstasy and pain that can come with love. "City of Stars" does an amazing job of tapping into the emotions of the listeners.

     I don't think I want my movie to be a musical but I want music to be an important factor in it!

Putting my Ideas to Work

     Since I want to create a voiceover for my movie opening, I need a script to work with. Thankfully, I'm a lyrical genius and already have material to work with. Over the years, I've written poems about love and I still have them saved! These poems could give me ideas as to how I can create my movie's story line. Now that I look back at these poems, I'm realizing how overly dramatic I was. Yikes...

Click the link to read some of my writing! 

http://media.wix.com/ugd/4a0bad_fd7fb32e727a4ac8b4b407f5920b8bfd.pdf

http://media.wix.com/ugd/4a0bad_cd07b8baed9449be9e86324c3943c6a7.pdf

     Now that I think about it, I've always loved spoken word poetry. Its intensity and its passion. My goal in my movie opening is for the viewers to feel what I feel when I listen to music about love. Spoken word poetry paired with an intense beat could be the answer that I need get the response that I want from my audience. Lin Manuel Miranda's presentation at the White House's Poetry Jam in 2009 is a prime example of how a great beat and passionate performance could translate into something incredible. I think I'm coming on to something...

            

Time to Brainstorm!

     Well, here goes nothing. For my movie opening, I want to be able to discuss topics that are near and dear to my heart. Things that I feel passionate about. I love music and, as cheesy as it sounds, I love love, so why not create a film about both? I want to translate the emotions I feel when I listen to love songs, and implement it into my film opening. R&B, my favorite genre of music, is known for its multitude of love songs, so I will dive deep into my music playlist and do a little research. 

   

                        Click here to listen to "Hold Up," a song that sparked a lot                          

                of ideas as to how I could open my movie!                                     

     Artists such as: Brandy, Kehlani, Ariana Grande, and Beyoncé come to mind and, instantly, I'm inspired. Beyoncé's film, Lemonade, is a perfect mixture of musical and visual genius. Kehlani's album Sweet Sexy Savage has a monologue-style introduction. What if the introduction of my movie scene was a voice-over of some sort? I could create my own music to go along with a voice-over and it could somehow elucidate the feelings of love that my main character will have! Maybe I could write a song?! 

   

                                                             Click here to listen to the introduction of Kehlani's

                                                             album.

     Ugh, these ideas seem so amazing in my head, but in order for these ideas to come to fruition, I need to come up with a plot for my movie. No one said this was ever going to be easy...